Mapping Memories
by MunchingMunchkin
Summary: It's been 2 years since Haruhi disappeared without a trace,undetectable even by Kyouya's remarkable team. Finally fate gathered the Host Club once again, only to drag out Haruhi's reason. In the process of walking down memory lane, Kyouya struggles to keep himself in check. Tamaki can't help but let his feelings show. Haruhi has hushed secrets that she's unwilling to reveal.
1. Chapter 1

_Haruhi._

**A name that would always be remembered.**

"Haruhi!" Hunny jumped up and down at the sight of Haruhi making her way to their table.

**An existence that would never be forgotten.**

Kyouya Ootori glanced up and felt his pulse quicken. Her long hair grew, held back by a barrette and puberty did its job; her small waist unchanged, only to be met by curves. Her dress was simple and appealing.

Kaoru and Hikaru did a double take. Even Mori blushed quite a bit when he saw her.

Kyouyo observed all this, as well as her indifference to it all. He sighed; it was good that some things remained unchanged. He checked his watch. Tamaki was late.

Everyone masked their worry and anxiety well when they saw her, although their thoughts were clearly written all over their faces.

**_What happened to her for the past two years?_**

Fujioka Haruhi had suddenly disappeared a week after graduation, without a trace, without a word.

_Nothing._

Her records were wiped clean. It was as if she had never existed.

And suddenly, one day Hunny and Mori bumped into her while they were training in China. In their own odd way, they convinced her to attend this small reunion.

Part of Kyouya missed this troublesome bunch, but at the same time he silently wished that maybe Tamaki couldn't make it. His eyes looked at Haruhi up and down, taking her all in. Her brown orbs that brightened up when Hunny hugged her, her smile when Kaoru commented on her appearance and the faint blush on her cheeks when Mori said that she looked beautiful.

She looked like she was slightly underweight though. _Was it due to stress? Overload of work? Worry?_

He swallowed, nervous that he couldn't keep his composure.

_Him? Keeping his composure?_

He scoffed to himself. He was beyond excellent and talented at doing that. But he didn't anticipate Haruhi.

He nodded in acknowledgment when Haruhi looked at him and bowed. "Hi, Kyouya. It's been awhile."

_Yes._ He was worried that he would suddenly stand up, without thought, grab her hand and drag her away. He wanted to hide her, keep her to himself and indulge in her so that nobody else could. He wanted her all to himself. Kyouya wanted to make sure that she never disappeared on him like that again.

And he definitely didn't want her to yearn for someone other than him.

He wanted her.

"Hello people!" came a chirpy voice. Kyouya caught sight of a blonde and he understood that he could have never forsaken his friendship with Tamaki. Kyoukya grinned. Even if she yearned for Tamaki himself.

"It's good to see you, Tamaki."

Tamaki was about to burst into waves of happiness and chatter until he noticed Haruhi.

He was left speechless for awhile, then turned beat red. "H-Haruhi!"

Kyouya sighed.

_This was going to be a long evening._

* * *

Haruhi was seated across from Tamaki and Kyouya, with the twins on either side.

"It's been awhile huh?" Hikaru perked up. He dove into his sirloin steak like he hadn't eaten in weeks.

_Silence._

"Yeah," Hunny said.

Two years since Haruhi disappeared, thought Kyouya. It was a disappearance that even his top investigators and private military were incapable of tracking, one that shook the entire school and his life.

Haruhi forced a laugh. "Let's not indulge in depressing thoughts tonight. So what have you guys been up to?"

It was a polite question. She needn't even ask it in order for her to know the answer to it already. The host club post-graduation were top-notch in their respective fields, splattering the magazines, news and media with their every lifestyles, success, gossip and ground-breaking achievements.

"The more important question is," Kyouya spoke up resting his face on his palm while leaning against the table. "What have you been up to, Fujioka Haruhi?"

His eyes gazed at her intensely. Tamaki put down his fork. "Where have you been? Why didn't you contact us? Why couldn't we contact you? What happened?"

Haruhi looked away.

"That's why we're all here right? For you to spill the beans," Kaoru said.

"You at least owe us this much," Hikaru muttered, after swallowing a huge bit of the meat.

Haruhi took a deep breath, and let it out slowly.

"Two years ago..." Haruhi's voice trailed on, lost in thought as she recollected the memories of the past.

They all waited until she started again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Two years ago...**

Ranka was sitting cross-legged in the living room, inserting Haruhi's graduation photos. Every once in a while, he would lift a picture and show it off to the picture of Haruhi's late mother. Grinning from ear-to-ear, he exclaimed how amazing Haruhi had grown up to be.

Haruhi was in the kitchen, preparing lunch and she heard it all.

She heard the pride in her father's voice, bragging about her achievements in academics, making friends as well as her active participation in charity. His shrill voice filled the whole house. But at the same time, she also heard a tinge of sadness & longing.

He, just as she did, had silently wished the impossible from time to time, that her mother was alive to see it all.

Haruhi smiled to herself.

_Mother in Heaven..._

The abrupt sound of the front door creaking open made Haruhi jump back. She was stunned to see a large dark figure stepping into the house, and without prior warning it grabbed her, placing a rough hand over her mouth, silencing her screams. But the plate that she was holding on to slipped and crashed onto the tiled floor, splattering into a hundred pieces and drawing the uncalled attention of her father.

Ranka immediately got up, at first shocked and speechless by the intruder, but he caught Haruhi's eyes filled with fear and his shock quickly turned into anger.

"How dare you touch her!" he screamed and ran towards the intruder. "Let her go!"

Everything else happened in a split second, so fast and unexpected that Haruhi didn't have time to blink. She saw from the corner of her eyes, as her intruder dragged her out the door, her father struggling to reach for her, his hands outstretched and reaching.

Just a bit more...

Instinctively she wanted to reach back, meet his hand in hers and everything would be alright.

_Oh, such naive thoughts they were._

Out of nowhere, came the sound like a dart hitting its mark, it was a sound without an echo, without warning.

She saw then her father stop dead in his tracks, his expression froze, and he looked not to be in fear or anger anymore, it was just... surprise. He looked down at himself, still puzzled & unable to comprehend what just happened, as if in denial that he couldn't save his own daughter.

_**And the blood...**_

Haruhi couldn't take her eyes off the blood. It spread out on her father's white shirt, like a pool of water on flat road, soaking the shirt, & the contrast was so clear.

Ranka fell to the ground, lifeless.

Haruhi wanted to scream, wanted to grab Ranka, hold on to him, save him, but her abductor stuffed her mouth with cloth, and her nose was filled with an unfamiliar smell.

She fought her eyes to stay open but went out cold.

* * *

**This is what happened two years ago.**

And Haruhi remembered all this, the memories so vivid as if she were walking through it all over again. She dreamt about it, waking up screaming and drenched in her own sweat. She sometimes heard her own father calling out, when she was alone.

When she shut her eyes, she saw the tall, faceless man, looming over her, ready to take her. And when she opened her eyes, she would look around her, searching for an escape.

This was the event that took place two years ago and was the start of her disappearance.

"Haruhi," Hunny said gently. "Is something wrong?"

Haruhi jumped back, coming back to reality. She looked around at the table, the six pairs of eyes, patiently waiting for her to speak up.

Haruhi wanted to tell them, her voice caught stuck in her throat. _This was the answer you wanted!_ She wanted to say. Yet, her mouth stayed closed. She'd open them, ready to say something, but would clamp it back shut, rethinking her decision.

"I just decided to disappear," Haruhi finally said, breaking the tense silence, hoping that they would believe her.

Hikaru dropped his fork. "What?!" he cried. "You decided?! What do you mean decided?" he cursed and called the waiter asking for another fork. Kaoru gave him a disapproving look.

Kyouya folded his arms and leaned back, upon hearing her answer.

Out of all the six fools that sat before Haruhi, she was most afraid of Hunny, Mori and Kyouya. They could smell a lie a mile away and could read the truth without you having to open your mouth. Haruhi looked down at her plate, food left untouched.

Tamaki reached out and touched her hand. "Haruhi, is that really true?"

Haruhi felt a million jolts surge throughout her body upon contact. She wanted to draw her hand back afraid of the comforting warmth, but as she tried to pull her hand away, Tamaki only gripped harder unwilling to let go.

Kyouya clenched his jaw and tightened his fists. Jealousy creaped in slowly. Anger remained hidden.

_Composure_, Kyouya, he mentally ordered himself.

Haruhi knew that if she told them, she'd never be able to step out of the restaurant without two body guards at her side from Kyouya's secret army with additional members from Hunny and Mori's clan with her. She'd be smothered by Tamaki's cries and worries, and her fears would soon become his. Kaoru and Hikaru would build a cage around her and have her life in their safety net.

She didn't want these consequences. In as much as she did appreciate their undying affection and care for her, she just didn't want to be a burden. Because that's all that she'd be to them.

She wanted her own freedom, one that she created on her own. She was independent as she had always been and she couldn't risk a single bit of dependency on another being for fear of not only their own safety, but also her own disappointment.

Then came in another soft voice in her head.

Haruhi took a deep breath. Hikaru was right though. She did owe them. She owed them the truth, but she couldnt't give it to them just yet. She wasn't ready. Even after two years, she hadn't uttered a word about what happened to anyone.

She was willing to reveal just a bit.

"I perhaps in some way consented to the disappearance," Haruhi said.

Hunny looked confused. Kaoru scowled at his vegetables.

"You're being politically correct," Kyouya retorted. "Stop beating around the bush."

Tamaki's eyes met Haruhi's, and she saw how his eyes were begging for some sort of explanation. He was hurt when she left, and he was probably the one who had fallen apart first upon her disappearance.

She couldn't break the eye contact. "I-I-...w-was..."

Maybe if she told them, she'd be able to recover from her wounds.

_She was caving in._

Maybe if she told them, they could help her, that perhaps she could get some bit of her old life back.

_Almost there._

They were after all her closest friends that she ever knew.

_Maybe..._

The benefit of the doubt edged and tugged the corner of her mind, steering her decision to a different direction.

She closed her eyes, ready to unveil it all, despite knowing the possible repercussions on her private life that would follow. Haruhi mustered her courage and mounted on her worst fears, ready to drive them off.

But she suddenly felt a presence behind her and a hand placed on her shoulder, startling her.

Haruhi's eyes immediately shot up, jumped out of her seat and clamped her own hands over mouth smothering her own scream. She almost fell back had not Tamaki stand up and grab her waist before she had the chance to fall.

Haruhi panicked and her breath quickened, inhaling and exhaling deeply, as if life was being sucked out of her.

"I'm sorry, miss," the waiter bowed."I didn't mean to startle you, but you dropped your purse."

Haruhi looked up. _It's just the waiter. Just the waiter..._

Tamaki put his arm around her and pulled her close. "Haruhi, are you alright?" He looked worried.

Haruhi pulled away. She received her purse, thanked the waiter and watched him walk away.

Images of the dark stranger flashed in her mind. The over-powering strength he had as he dragged her away, his overwhelming power as he seized her of her life and the unbearable feeling of helplessness when even her screams could not be heard. Her courage depleted and she shrunk back to her coward self. She swallowed down the words that stood at the tip of her tongue.

"I'm sorry guys, but maybe it's not the time for me to tell you," Haruhi fumbled with her purse and was going to leave. Her head was in disarray, confused and angry with herself.

_Why must she remember all that now?_

"Haruhi, we came a long way to hear your story," Kaoru spoke up. "All of us were genuinely worried about you."

"We tried looking for you," Hunny said.

Haruhi felt ashamed of herself. "Sorry, but I just... just can't..." She walked off, ready to flee the situation. She was bout to reach the exit, until Tamaki stood up, went after her and grabbed her arm. "Haruhi! We're here for you!"

Haruhi spun around, afraid.

"I was kidnapped!" Haruhi blurted, before she could think and stop herself.

The words that she swallowed down had crawled back to the tip of her tongue and had fallen out.


End file.
